Following
his acclaimed interviews with the British Royals, Dr Sigmund Freud arrived in
Australia, his first ever visit down-under. Prime Minister Turnbull welcomed
him to the newly refurbished Lodge in Canberra.
MT: (Grinning)
Welcome Dr Freud, there’s never been a better time to visit Australia.
SF: Why?
MT: You want to ask why there’s never been a
better time to visit Australia?
SF: No,
I already have. What’s the answer?
MT: Well
the answer is straightforward. Simply put there’s never been a better time to
visit Australia.
SF: That’s not an answer, that’s mere assertion,
statement, declaration. I asked you why.
MT: Well,
we have so much to be optimistic about.
SF: Such
as?
MT: (Turns to adviser) Not a bad question
when you think about it. Do you know?
A: (Beaming). Because you’re Prime Minister,
sir, our Mal for all seasons.
MT: Darn
it, you’re absolutely right. How unusually modest of me not to think of that. What’s your name? I’ll
need to consider a promotion.
A: It’s
Godwin, sir.
SF: Excuse me, may I interrupt?
MT: There’s never been a better time to
interrupt, Dr Freud.
SF: What
do you think of the advocates of same-sex marriage?
MT: They
should all be sent back to Nauru. Immediately! Oh, sorry, wrong talking point. (Glares at Godwin.)
SF: Well?
MT: There’s
never been a better time to—
SF: (Ashen-faced, trembling) Sorry, I just remembered, I
have to go to the chemist.
MT: Well
there’s never been … (SF screams, Godwin
phones for an ambulance).
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