Moon landing - finally, a challenger for Neil Armstrong

First budgies on the moon

The 20th of July nears and I still hate you
Neil Armstrong
For walking on the moon that day in 1969
Sullying it for billions around the globe
Ruining life for those of us who want to make our mark.

Sickening too, your false modesty
“One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind!”
Oh really?
I know exactly what you meant
“Hey, suckers, beat this!”

Well bad news, Neil, I’ve worked it out
Crowdfunding won’t fuel the rocket but
Donald Trump told me he was interested
At least until he tweeted, “I’d rather go to Mars”.
I only wish he would.

I messaged Vlad Putin, hero of the underdog
Whose aides told me he’ll be in touch, once various
Political and geographic realignments
Are all sorted, which they promised
Won’t take long.

Start worrying Neil
You of the namby-pamby inner- and outer-boot
Nothing human or intimate when you touched the moon.
For me it will be different
Budgie smugglers and bare feet.