Dr Freud’s house call on Malcolm Turnbull

Following his acclaimed interviews with the British Royals, Dr Sigmund Freud arrived in Australia, his first ever visit down-under. Prime Minister Turnbull welcomed him to the newly refurbished Lodge in Canberra.

  

MT:      (Grinning) Welcome Dr Freud, there’s never been a better time to visit Australia.

SF:        Why?

  

MT:      You want to ask why there’s never been a better time to visit Australia?

 

SF:        No, I already have. What’s the answer?

MT:      Well the answer is straightforward. Simply put there’s never been a better time to visit Australia.

 

SF:       That’s not an answer, that’s mere assertion, statement, declaration. I asked you why.

MT:      Well, we have so much to be optimistic about.

SF:        Such as?

MT:      (Turns to adviser) Not a bad question when you think about it. Do you know?

A:         (Beaming). Because you’re Prime Minister, sir, our Mal for all seasons.

  

MT:      Darn it, you’re absolutely right. How unusually modest of me not to think of that. What’s your name? I’ll need to consider a promotion.

A:         It’s Godwin, sir.

SF:        Excuse me, may I interrupt?

MT:      There’s never been a better time to interrupt, Dr Freud.

SF:        What do you think of the advocates of same-sex marriage?

MT:      They should all be sent back to Nauru. Immediately! Oh, sorry, wrong talking point. (Glares at Godwin.)

SF:       Well?

MT:      There’s never been a better time to—

SF:        (Ashen-faced, trembling) Sorry, I just remembered, I have to go to the chemist.

MT:      Well there’s never been … (SF screams, Godwin phones for an ambulance).