Following a
break during the election campaign to ensure his interviews would remain non-partisan,
Dr Sigmund Freud met with Senator-elect Pauline Hanson.
SF: Congratulations
Ms Hanson, are you surprised at your success?
PH: Of course not,
what a stupid question. The Strayan people have longed for my return to take
the country back to the time when everyone knew where they stood and who they
were standing on. A time when things were black and white and there was none of
this awful brindlelisation we see all about us 24/7.
SF: But aren’t
you a product of what you call brindlelisation? Some years ago a DNA test
showed your own genetic make-up was drawn from the Middle East, Italy, Greece
and Turkey as well as Europe. Makes you a bit of a piebald doesn’t it?
PH: Dr Froid, if
you think you can show me up as an ignorant hypocrite you’ve got another thing
coming. The Strayan people won’t stand idly by while some foreigner with a silly
name insults the one person who gives them hope for the future of bigotry.
SF: Whatever you might
say, Ms Hanson, your electoral appeal remains limited.
PH: That’s what you think! Straya’s full of
people like me. That’s one of our education system’s greatest achievements.
SF: Why do you
hate Muslims so much?
PH: What planet do
you live on Dr Froid? They’re out to get us, to ruin our way of life.
Everywhere you go these days there’s a Muslim. And those women in their scary black
robes. If there’s not a bomb under them there’s a development proposal for a
mosque or a school.
SF: You do know
that Muslims make up only about two per cent of the Australian population?
PH: That’s what
you say, Dr Froid. That’s why we need a Royal Commission to discover the real
true facts, including how Muslims ruin the environment.
SF: Are you saying
that Muslims are responsible for climate change?
PH: Of course I
am. Who else would be? Just have a look at what they’ve done in the Middle East
– nothing but sand, barely a tree, no water. It’s a disgrace. And it’ll happen
here. Mark my words.
SF: But most
Muslims don’t even live in the Middle East. They live in Pakistan and India and
Bangladesh and Indonesia.
PH: And just look
where those countries are, Dr Froid, getting closer and closer to Straya. They’re
out to get us and I’m the only person who can stop it.
[SF closes his eyes, shakes his head and is unable to
continue.]
